Your dad is changing

Hi little one,

I know I did not write to you last week. I am updating my schedule, I will write to you every two weeks. If you are disappointed, then don't be because I am trying to focus on quality instead of quantity. I have been mostly advising you for the last couple of weeks. This time, it is a bit different, I need to reflect on my own thoughts, feelings, attitudes and philosophy of my life. Socrates rightly said "An unexamined life is not worth living" and I truly believe in that. Self-introspection is a powerful tool and we should use it from time to time.

Your dad has believed in certain principles until now. Love, romance, marriage, a happy family and all that. I would like to believe in all that in the future as well. But, I have been become more open towards other ways of leading my life. I am not so sure that I can spend my life with another person, give them all the love and happiness and grow old together. I have other things that I intend to do - music, poetry, film, photography and they keep me happy and occupied. I also like to keep my own company and have become somewhat less social. 

I have become quite liberated, I must say and exploring a different side to myself which I have kept suppressed all this while. But, this change has been quite scary and overwhelming for me as well. I do not know what the future holds, but I hope it is good. This change has been a result of catastrophic loss about a year back, which I haven't had the courage to tell you about - but soon I will.

Yours (a little bit confused),

Dad

P.S - The cycle of change above.

When Karma comes for you.

Hi princess,

It has been some time since I wrote to you. A few days ago it was Diwali, with lights and festivities all around. There were no such celebrations for me, but I enjoyed being part of the warmth all around. It has been an exhilarating week, with me discovering lots of important pieces of information about life. I discovered Buddhism and have never felt this happy or calm before. I just wanted to talk about one of the central features of Buddhism called Karma.

Modern young urban people often use the word karma in a very fancy way. You can see lots of Instagram and Facebook posts claiming "Karma is a bitch","Karma will get you". It seems as if there is so much hate and bile amongst us that Karma is some sort of vehicle for revenge. Karma is not merely a hashtag to be used against your fancy vacation photos or your stylish clothes. Karma is in the mind, your thoughts are also equally a part of karma. Your ill-will towards someone or hatred towards someone generates lots of negative karma for you. It is a very complex concept which is lucidly explained by Buddhist masters. Two points are very important in this regard.

Whenever someone hurts us, it is in fashion to say that Karma will get you. But, we say it in hatred and that itself generates bad karma for us. 

Karma will come for us too. We should not complain then by saying "Why is this happening to me? , "What have I done ? " .

My main point is you cannot expect Karma to work for someone you want and not for you. Karma is not your slave. It is a natural law. 

Karma works for us too, and our bad karma will catch up with us sooner or later. It is of no use blaming others then. My best advice to you would be to introspect about all the instances in your life when you generated bad Karma. Instances, where you could have been more kind and compassionate. You will find a reason for your sadness and it will also take away your anger because you would have an answer to the question "Why is this happening to me? ".

I hope you this gives you peace and calm in times of distress.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

The story of the lifeboat.

Hi darling,

It has been a long time since Daddy wrote to you. Hope, everything is right in school. I think we should plan a vacation soon. Somewhere really warm. It would be good for me and you too. Daddy has had a couple of bad days recently. He doesn't know what he is doing with his life. Directionless and purposeless. I think everybody has that phase sometime in their lives. Today, I just want to tell you a little story. It's a story you should read when people leave you, knowingly. When anybody leaves you, knowing that you will be hurt beyond measure.

The story of the lifeboat.

There was a deep dark ocean. In the middle of the ocean, there was a yellow lifeboat. Waves lashed around it, rocking it to and fro. But, it remained steady. It had to. Because there was a man in it. He held onto the lifeboat for his life. It was his only way to survive, in these unforgiving waters. The lifeboat knew that it had to keep the man safe until they reached the shore.

But, suddenly the sweet songs of a mermaid reached the ears of the man. The lifeboat heard it too. The man went crazy. He had to hear those songs better, he had to find the mermaids. The man jumped into the water and swam away to the music of the mermaid. The lifeboat was powerless, what could it do. It couldn't save the man. It wandered alone on the ocean. All alone.

After days and nights, of almost being broken into two. After hours and hours of baking under the scorching sun. It found the shore. The people there repaired it and painted it anew. It even became a fishing boat for a young man, helping him catch his fish and keeping him happy. The lifeboat became an indispensable part of the man's life and he took good care of it.

But, what happened to the man who went after the mermaids? He drowned and settled into the depths of the sea.

Hope you find warmth and comfort.
Hope you become happy again.

Yours lovingly,
Dad

The Feeling of Being Forgotten,Replaced,Ignored OR Athazagoraphobia

Hello princess,

The festival of Durga Pujo is over. It's time for people to get back to whatever they were doing. The intoxicating spell of revelry has passed. But, in the midst of all the celebration, I felt quite small and unimportant. It was to do with meeting up old friends, who really were not that enthusiastic about it. I think everybody wants to feel important to at least a few people. There's a popular quote nowadays and I think it's very true.

In the end, we all want someone who would choose us over everybody else every single time. 

I guess people drift away after a certain point of time. Physical separation is quite a significant factor. Even though we have all forms of communication to keep us updated round the clock about other people, it is sheer irony, that we drift apart all the more. Mohiner Ghoraguli's iconic song (Prithibi Ta Naki Choto Hote Hote) about drifting apart is very apt here. We meet certain people, they add value to our lives, but after a point, we leave them or they leave us. We meet new people again. This cycle goes on. We would be very fortunate to have a group of people with us all along.

Sometimes, we wonder why certain people have moved away. Many times, it may happen that we have pushed them away and we are not yet conscious of that fact. In such times, we must introspect on what we have done, and introspect really hard. If we find something, we should really try to apologize and try to correct our mistakes. But, even if we try to do so, a broken string will always have a knot. I think I have pushed people away due to my own stupidity. I should not complain about the world, but I sure can complain about myself.

If you ever find yourself in such a situation, try to correct yourself first before blaming others for moving away. If you find something wrong you have done in the past, try to make up for it. A person who wants to stay in your life will always welcome you back again. If not, then it is sad, but in the long run, you are better off without that person. Besides, daddy will always love you.

Always. :')

Yours lovingly,
Dad