Simple sounding advice is usually too good to be true
Hi little one,
Firstly, sorry for not keeping up to schedule last week, because I had gone to India for some urgent work. But, here I am, back again to dad and daughter trying to figure out life. Today's piece is about something I have realised over the years either by myself or by looking at other people's lives at a close range. It is the often over-looked fallacies of simple sounding advice. Before, I get started, I HAD to post this beautiful street in Pondicherry, India.
When we are in our teens or just starting our careers, a lot of simple sounding advice is floating all around us by various mediums. Parents, relatives, friends, books are always ready to offer some dosage of it. But, all of it must be taken with a healthy dose of inspection and and suspicion, because they tend to hide or abstract away some complexities of life. Let me illustrate with few examples.
1. "Follow your passion" - Sounds good from fake motivational speakers and rebellious teenagers, but it is usually more complex than that. We may not be really good in what we are passionate about, when we realise this, does your passion for that particular thing wane ? Then, there is also the concern of your passion and job. If your passion pays well, then that's alright because you enjoy the work you do and you get paid for it. A way to think about your passion is as follows. If your passion is about long distance cycling, think what would happen if you were an average long distance cyclist. Would you be happy doing that as your job, would it pay well ? If not, its better to pursue something else and make your passion your hobby. This framework of thinking applies to any activity, think of what would happen if you were on average good at that activity.
2. "Work Hard" - This is true but with conditions. Work hard, but work smarter. Organise your work into priority boxes and also by how difficult they are. Delegate or defer less important work. Always keep your mental and physical health above working hard.
3. "Never give up" - Simply not true, if you do not get incrementally better at anything, there is no point in trying to do the same thing over and over again. For example, if your target is to run 5kms in 30 minutes, you should do something ( control breathing, better attire, better posture) to be incrementally better each time you run. Repeating the same experiment and expecting different results is a fool's task
4. "Always be positive and cheerful" - It is impossible for a person to do this. Don't even try. Inspect and analyse your emotions - all of them.
5. "Don't think what other think of you" - We are all social creatures, it is very natural that we do this. But, we should not compare or asses our self worth totally based on the judgement of others and ruin our mental health.
If I can think of more, I will let you know. But whatever you dad says is true though ;)
Best,
Dad
P.S - I was in India to get our own house. I do not know if you will get to see it, but I hope you do. :)
Quirky hate for something
Hi Princess,
I think you would be glad to know that I have kept to my schedule. Hopefully, I can keep sticking to it for the future. I was wondering what to write today and then the universe had the perfect setup for me which lead to me choosing this topic.
Do you ever feel unnatural, quirky, weird animosity or hatred towards a person, place or activity ? I think these unexplainable thoughts are what make us human and it is important to inspect them with the microscope of our minds. If you ever feel that way, remember it is completely natural and it happens with everyone. But, do not let it fester, analyse why you are feeling this way, because holding anger for no reason hurts ourselves more than anybody. If you feel hatred towards a person. is it because something about them bothers you subconsciously and you just cannot admit the truth, or does it remind you of certain behaviours or actions you dislike. If you dislike a place, what makes it so, the actual place or something associated with it. The same goes for any activity.
It is important to make sense of these feelings, I am not asking you to be perfectly okay with every single person or place. If after close inspection, you find the reasons valid, try to avoid that person or place. But, try to be very thorough in your analysis and fair to the person you are inspecting, otherwise it just makes your world a more bitter place and we don't want that.
If you still cannot understand why you do not like something or someone, I am always here to talk to. The picture is to help you calm down if you feel bitter and anxious.
Love, peace and hugs,
Dad